


Harry Potter Breaks Down

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Explicit Language, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-10-18
Updated: 2005-10-28
Packaged: 2018-09-30 11:48:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10162424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Harry Breaks down when he has more then he can handle.





	1. Harry Potter Breaks Down 1

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

A/N: All characters are owned by JK. Rowling, this does not say anything about any of the characters or the actors who play the characters sexuality. This is a work of fiction. 

If you would like to e-mail me please do so at: Pyrosstories@yahoo.com  
All flames will be ignored and deleted immediately.

You can also visit my website for more stories: http://Pyrosplace.us

 

Harry Potter Breaks Down 1

 

Harry Potter, The-Boy-Who-Lived stormed into the great hall and took his seat at the Gryffindor table. Everyone around him could see that he was mad, very mad by the looks of it, he looked as if he wanted to kill someone, anyone.

The magical ceiling above them that usually reflected the weather outside turned suddenly stormy, even with the sun shining outside the castle. 

No one dared to say anything to him; they all knew better then that. Harry was tired of being a pawn and told where to live and what he had to do. No one ever thought that Harry was being beaten by his muggle relatives, but in reality he was. 

Dumbledore came in about that time and sat at the head table followed closely by McGonagall and Snape. Harry turned and glared at the three of them then turned and ate his dinner. 

After he finished eating Harry got up and started walking out of the great hall when Snape stopped him.

“Sit down Potter, no ones leaving the great hall till after everyone’s finished dinner” he said in the snide angry voice of his.

Harry turned and stared at the now standing Professor, the look made Professor Snape drop down in his seat.

“Screw you” he replied and started walking towards the doors.

“Mr. Potter, 15 points from Gryffindor for you language and you are to apologize and sit down immediately” said Professor McGonagall standing up and staring down at Harry. 

Harry turned and glared at the transfiguration professor.

“How dare you?” Harry started his voice raising more as he talked. “How dare you talk to me about what I should and shouldn’t do? You who say that you want what is best for me, but only cause me to get hurt and to be beat and the worse of all to be USED” Harry said yelling the last word as he spoke.

 

Everyone stared in shock as Harry spoke and McGonagall sat back down.

“Professor Dumbledore said that he was doing what was best to protect me, but he didn’t care and neither do you. I get beat every year I return there and you know it and you don’t care; no all you care about is that I am here and what you can use me for” Harry said with hate and contempt in his voice.

“Harry that is not true we are doing what we can to protect you from Voldemort and his followers” Dumbledore said standing up, most of the students and teachers flinched at the name.

Harry laughed at him. 

“No you don’t, if you did then you would have made sure I was safe somewhere else instead of being beaten by my uncle every year. You knew what was going on and you call that protection? No that is neglect and you know it.”

“Haha poor Potty not getting his own way?” Malfoy said from his seat laughing at him. Before anyone knew what happened Harry had his wand out and shouted the stupefy curse at Malfoy causing him to pass out on the table. 

“Never talk to me again Malfoy” Harry said then turned back towards the teachers table seeing Snape glaring at him.

“And you Snape, you say that you’re here to teach us, no that is not the case you are here to torment us and to make us weak so we can’t fight against Voldemort. You want us to loose, so you try and hurt all of us so we can’t defend our self’s. You’re a damn death-eater and we all know it. Don’t you EVER talk about my family or me the way that you did earlier or it will be the last thing that you EVER do” Harry said with venom in his voice.

Malfoy woke up and Pansy told him what Harry said and what Harry just said to Snape, Malfoy sat there in stunned silence.

“Dumbledore, McGonagall, and even you Remus, none of you cared about me despite what you have said. You only care about the fact that I can stop Voldemort, well since you don’t want me safe and you would prefer that I stay in a place where I get beat and hurt and almost killed then you stop him. I quit” and with that Harry turned and walked out of the great hall.

As Harry approached the doors to the castle he called for his broom and Hedwig. Harry mounted his broom and turned and saw the professors standing at the door watching him. With one final look he turned and launched himself into the air followed by Hedwig.

 

The professors watched in stunned silence for a few moments before turning and looking at Dumbledore. 

“Professor McGonagall if you will please go and insure the students get back to their dormitories then join me in my office. Severus if you would please make sure that Mr. Malfoy gets to the infirmary then join us as well” with that the headmaster turned and headed up to his office. 

An hour later Professors McGonagall and Snape were sitting in front of the headmaster’s desk.

“What should we do Albus? I have never seen Harry so angry. I can understand his anger. I wouldn’t want to go and live back there either, but it is for his own safety. You told me that you told him why and he doesn’t even care anymore. What has happened to him?” she asked with tears in her eyes.

“I don’t know Minevera, I wish I did, but lately it seems that he is letting his emotions run wild. I fear that he is over stressed and the stress of having to go back to his relative’s house is too much on him. Severus what do you think?” he asked turning towards the potions master. 

“I do not know sir, I know that I have tried to teach him the skills that are necessary to protect him, but he seems far to distracted lately. Then attacking us verbally and Malfoy physically that is just too much. He has to be stopped before he starts hurting more people. Then again he could just do what he said and quit and never return I just don’t know” the potions master said looking at Dumbledore. 

“Yes it is quite unlike him; maybe we have pushed him to much, I know he needs the protection but maybe because he has been hurt so much and now he has to go back he can’t handle it. I believe that Harry Potter has had a break down. We can check the orders hideouts and we can check to see if he went to his Uncle’s and Aunts to extract revenge, we can also check with the Wesley’s to see if they have seen him. I know Molly is going to be very upset if something happens to him, but other then that I don’t know where else to look for him” Dumbledore said. About that time his door opened and in walked Professor Lupin with Ron and Hermione behind him.

“Sorry sir but they insisted on seeing you” he said leading the two into the headmaster’s office.

“Yes Mrs. Granger, Mr. Weasely what can I do for you?” Dumbledore asked looking deep into their eyes.

“Sir we think we may know where Harry will go” Hermione said staring at the headmaster just as intensely.

“Where at Mrs. Granger?” asked Professor Snape turning towards them.

 

“Sorry sir but I will not give you that information we don’t want the Dark Lord to get it” Ron said sneering at the professor who stared opened mouthed at them.

“It is alright children Professor Snape is not a death-eater. He has my complete trust” Dumbledore said smiling to relax the children, it worked but only a little bit.

“Well we won’t tell you but we will take you there. It is guarded and we’re the secret keepers” Hermione said staring at Dumbledore who looked like everyone, surprised and yet pleased.

“I am glad that he has chosen so wisely, and I give you each 15 points to Gryffindor for coming forward. Now why don’t you go and get on some outdoor close while I call and let the order know that we are going to a place that you may know.” 

Hermione and Ron left to get some night cloths on while the others talked and Dumbledore called the order to fill them in on what was going on.

“Sir if I may, I would also like to go he may actually talk with me more then any of you as I am the last link to his family” Remus said.

Dumbledore nodded his head.

“You’re right, alright let’s go and meet Mr. Weasely and Mrs. Granger.” With that they all got up and headed down the stairs to the entrance, Ron and Hermione were already there waiting on them.

“Ok we are going to have to apparate there; it’s not where you think it is, so the best place I can tell you to go to is outside a little town called Ayshire. From there we are going to have to walk” she said taking Professor McGonagall hand, while Ron took Professor Lupin. 

They apparated to where Hermione and Ron told them to go, once there they walked a few blocks and came to some woods. 

“It is going to take a little time to get there” Ron started.

“It is warded and we have to get through every ward as we go other wise he will not only know that we are there, but he will assume that it is an enemy and turn the traps on that he made” Hermione finished. 

The professors all nodded and slowly Ron and Hermione started working on the first ward. After that was bent to allow them access and reset they started walking once again.

Ron led them down a small dirt path that went on for about a half a mile into the forest. As they walked he and Hermione worked on each of the wards as they came to them, all together 15 wards had been set. Once out on the other side a big green open range sat surrounded by trees. 

Ron and Hermione said the phrase that let them see the house, the professors all stared in wonder at the small two story house that looked more like a country home then a home that they all thought Harry should live in.

They slowly approached the house and could hear music playing softly inside; Hermione and Ron slowly unwarded the door and led the professors into the small house. 

The small two story house on the outside seemed nothing like what the inside of the house looked like.

Everyone walked in and marveled at the small hall that they had stepped into. To the right side were steps leading to the upstairs. To the left was a dining room and to the right beside the stairs was a formal sitting room. The professors followed Hermione and Ron through the formal sitting room towards the back of the house; as they walked through the formal sitting room and approached another room the music seemed to get louder.

The inside of the house was done in beige, yet this room was done in wood paneling and looked like a small sitting room or family room more then anything else. 

Harry was there as well; to them all he looked like he was asleep, but upon closer inspection they found him passed out drunk. A bottle of gin and a bottle of scotch lay on the floor next to him. By the smell in the room he had been drinking all day since he vanished. 

McGonagall walked passed Harry and into what appeared to be the kitchen, once in there she looked around then called for Professor Dumbledore. 

A few minutes later they both came out with disappointed and sad looks on their faces.

“There are 5 other bottles empty in the kitchen it appears that either Harry was trying to block out the whole world or to kill himself” she said looking at Harry just sitting there. 

Harry started mumbling and everyone quieted so they could listen.

“No Sirius, no don’t go, I need you….please don’t go, please don’t go” he said starting to cry. Before anyone could do anything Harry started speaking again. “Snape why did you do it? Why did you want to hurt me? I thought you cared about me?” he started crying even more, the others were feeling sorry for him and Hermione and McGonagall had tears in their eyes. Harry’s next statement really made tears come cascading down their faces. “I just want to be with my parents. I don’t want to hurt anymore, let me go. Please he doesn’t love me and he never will, I love you S….” before he could finish he fell into a deep sleep with tears still running down his face.

“I never knew that he felt that way, I never knew he would prefer to die then to be here with his friends” Dumbledore said, he even had tears running down his face as he thought about what Harry said, Dumbledore then turned to face Snape.

“Professor Severus Snape, I think that Harry has feeling for you, and I believe that you have feelings for him. Do you want to help him through what he is going through?” he asked the potions master. 

Before Snap could respond Ron spoke up.

“SNAPE…. are you crazy? Snape is a death-eater; he would turn Harry over to the Dark Lord. I can’t believe that you would even consider him, Snape of all people. Harry doesn’t need him; all he needs is he friends. No offense sir but I think that Harry about needs you like he needs a whole in his head. I can’t believe that he cares about you, he is mental I’m telling you mental. There is NO WAY in hell that Harry wants that greasy haired over baring and hateful man” Ron said, but before he could continue tirade there was a loud slap and he stopped.

“Ronald Weasely how dare you talk about Harry like that; it shouldn’t matter that Harry likes Snape or not; you are his friend and if you want to continue to be my boyfriend I suggest that you calm down right now. I will NOT have you hurting Harry anymore then he really is. Don’t you think that if you continue this that you are going to hurt Harry more then help him?” Hermione said staring Ron right in the face. 

Ron was stunned as was everyone else in the room with them. Hermione has slapped him before but never that hard and never said things to protect Snape of all people.

“Ok I’m sorry,” he started then turned and faced Professor Snape. “Professor I’m sorry for talking like that. I mean it is no secret I don’t like you, but I love Harry as my brother and if you can help him get better then I have to learn to trust you” Ron said with his head down.

A hand on his shoulder made him look up and he saw Snape standing there looking at him.

“Mr. Weasely I understand and I know I have given you very little reason to trust me, and I have given you no reason for you to want me to help Harry. I am sorry Ronald I know I have been biased but sometimes I have to keep up an image so no one will know that I am a spy, yes I am a spy Mr. Weasely. I have been for years, and thanks to Dumbledore I am where I am today.” 

 

Ron couldn’t believe that Snape just told him all of that, for the first time in his life Ron smiled up at the potions professor. 

“Thank you Professor and I’m sorry for how I have acted over the years, hopefully we can work through all of this together, and I will understand how at school you are still going to have to act as you did” he said sticking out his hand for Professor Snape to shake.

Snape smiled and shook his hand. 

“Thank you Mr. Weasely and yes I will have to act as I have” he replied finishing the shake then dropping their hands. 

“Now gentlemen lets move him upstairs” Dumbledore said smiling at everyone. Before anyone could get to Harry Snape spoke up.

“Sir if you would, let me take him up please?” he asked looking at the aged wizard whose eyes were twinkling like mad.

“Of course Severus of course” Snape picked up Harry and cradled him in his arms and with Hermione and Ron leading the way took Harry upstairs.

Once everyone was upstairs Snape laid Harry on his bed, with Ron’s help they were able to remove Harry’s robes and put him under the covers. They blew out all the candles except one then left the bedroom and headed down stairs to talk.

They arrived down stairs in time to see Professor’s McGonagall and Lupin throwing out the empty bottles and looking to see if there were anymore in the house. After 15 minutes they had finally finished and joined everyone else in the sitting room.

“We threw all the empty ones out and we found at least 10 more bottles, if I didn’t know any better I would say that he was working his way through them all. I imagine he was going to try and kill himself” the aged old witch said breaking down in sobs, with Hermione on one side and Professor Lupin on the other they were able to calm her down. 

“So it would appear so, Mr. Weasely and Mrs. Granger can you give us any indication as to why Harry would want to kill himself?” Professor Dumbledore asked looking at Harry’s two best friends. 

They both thought for a moment then Hermione started.

“Well sir, I think like what he said, he feels alone and abandoned, we understand why he has to stay at his aunts house and why he needs protection, but sir, I think maybe something happened to Harry last summer that he isn’t telling us” she said. Ron spoke up then.

 

“Harry doesn’t tell us what really goes on when he is home, and I think that with that and with the anniversary of Sirius’s death, and his feeling for Snape I think that he has finally cracked” Ron said with a sad look upon his face. 

“I believe you’re right. I think that Harry has finally had enough, and like you said feeling alone and abandoned and needing the love that he so desires yet feels he doesn’t deserve, I think he is ready to end it all” Dumbledore said looking into the fire that he started but a moment ago.

“Mr. Weasely, Mrs. Granger how did Harry come about to getting this house, and furnishing it?” Professor McGonagall asked. They all wanted to know how he was able to get that. 

They both smiled sheepishly. 

“Well as you all know every year Harry has to go to Gringots and to get money for school supplies. He takes out a little more then he actually needs and for the last two years has been investing it” Hermione started. 

“Investing how?” asked Remus Lupin. Ron smiled at them all.

“Well you see two years ago on one of his trips to Hogsmeade he found an investor, and gave him 500 gallons, well what ever the guy invested in hit big time. Well those 500 gallons turned into over 500,000 gallons in less then a year. Harry sold half the stock and through my dad bought this house” Ron said smiling.

“Harry let the investment build up then got the interest off of it and had Mr. and Mrs. Weasely decorate and refurnish the house. I don’t think that anyone thought that Harry would use it till he was finished with school, apparently he has come here quite often if you found all those bottles” Hermione said sadly.

“How did you two become his secret keepers and go through the ritual when you’re not of age yet?” Professor Snape asked looking at the two with much more respect then ever before.

“Well dad talked to a guy in the ministry and told him that Harry finally bought a house. He didn’t tell him where it was but gave him the impression that it was in either Wales or Ireland and not here in Scotland; which is what we hope that you will all give to the illusion should anyone ask where Harry lives?” Ron said and they all nodded their heads then he continued. “Well Dad told the guy that he wanted his two best friends to be the keepers even though they were underage” Ron began.

“The guy told Mr. Weasely how to go about having both Ron and I do the ritual and not get in trouble. The thing is that first Ron’s mum and dad to do the ritual and to become the secret keepers then transfer them to us. They helped set the wards and only us, them and Harry knows how to get through them all” Hermione finished.

“Very impressive, it is a good thing that he choose wisely and was able to do this for his protection” Dumbledore said. “I think that it is time for us to be getting back, but I would like to ask Severus to stay with Harry until he is better. I think that he may need to stay here for a week, maybe you can help him get through this, and I think that it would be wise if you also stay Remus, as you said earlier you are his only link to his parents, and Sirius.” 

“I agree I would like to stay and help Severus with Harry, I think the both of us can handle him” Remus said looking at Severus Snape who nodded his head.

“I agree if anyone can get through to Harry it will be Remus and I. We have set our differences aside and have buried all the past problems between us, BUT I must insist that if need be that we can have Mr. Weasely and Mrs. Granger here in an instant if they are needed. They are his best friends and when push comes to shove I do believe that they may be able to help bring Harry back from the brink of self destruction” Snape said staring at the two young Gryffindor’s. 

“I believe that you are right Severus, if they are needed notify us at once and either Professor McGonagall or I will bring them immediately” Professor Dumbledore replied getting up, followed by Ron, Hermione and McGonagall. “We must be off, don’t worry we will have someone cover both your classes.” And with that all four of them left Harry’s House.

After having a quiet dinner Remus and Severus both fell asleep in the sitting room only to awake the next morning as the sun was coming over the horizon. 

They both cleaned up and noticed that two bags with a note were sitting in the middle of the room.

‘I thought you two may need some cloths and toiletries’ and it was signed with and elegant D. 

“That was nice of him” said Remus grabbing his bag and heading to the nearest bathroom; after he was finished Severus used the same one and meet Remus in the kitchen. 

”So shall we fix some breakfast?” Remus asked looking into the ice box and pulling out some eggs, and other breakfast supplies. 

They both set about their task making breakfast and were nearly complete when Harry stumbled into the kitchen; they both stopped and watched as Harry opened his eyes from wincing at the light and looked at the two people there.

With anger and hate on his face he just stared at the two intruders.

“What the hell are you doing in my house and how the hell did you get here?” he asked them both staring them down. Before Remus could even open his mouth Severus beat him to it.

“Mr. Weasely and Mrs. Granger showed us along with Professor’s Dumbledore and McGonagall. They left after cleaning up the kitchen and throwing out all the empty bottles of booze and the ones not even open yet” Severus said staring hard at Harry. 

Harry just stood and stared right back.

“Harry we felt that we could maybe help you with what ever is wrong” Remus said gently coming up to stand next to Severus. Harry just stared at him as well and after a moment he finally responded.

“I don’t need any help, now get the hell out of my house and go back to the school. Now that you know where I live you can send my things to me and tell Hermione and Ron I will be finding new keepers.” With that said he pushed past both Severus and Remus and headed to the pantry after opening up all the cupboards and not finding what he was looking for. 

Once in the pantry he moved a hidden panel and pulled out two more bottle of alcohol and walked back into the sitting room. After restarting the music Harry sat in front of the fire and opened the first bottle, but before he could take a sip it was snatched out of his hand and the other bottle was snatched from the chair it was sitting in and both were thrown into the fire. Harry looked up and stared into two dark black set of eyes. 

Eyes that seem to glow with the flames that roared to life higher then before with the alcohol thrown into them.

“Harry Potter you will NOT drink another drop of that poison do you hear me” Severus said getting into Harry’s face. 

Harry turned a dark red and spoke slow and deep.

“Get the fuck out of my house” he growled and stood up causing Severus to step back. “How dare you tell me what to do, and who do you think that you are giving me orders to do something in this house?” he said stepping towards Severus, Remus was about to interfere but Severus waved him away. 

“Neither Remus or I will leave till you have heard us out, and as to who you think I am young man, I am the man that you’re in love with and that loves you” he said watching Harry’s face as he said those words. 

Harry just stared at the man then started hollering.

“NO YOU DON’T! DON’T SAY THAT, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU” he hollered batting his fist at Severus who just grabbed them and held on to Harry. Remus and Severus both watched Harry finally break down all the way and slowly lose the last bit of control that was in him.

Harry keep hollering and swearing at Severus as Severus held his hand and struggled to keep from being hit and at the same time making sure that Harry didn’t hurt himself. Then finally as tears flowed down his face, Harry collapsed against Severus Snape. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and gently lowered them both to the floor. 

Severus rocked back and forth and made shushing noises to Harry as Harry cried out his anger and most importantly his pain. 

Ten minuets later Harry was no longer crying load deaf drenching sobs he now had silent tears running down his face and he held onto the man that he secretly loved and that he needed now more then ever; a few moments later Severus spoke up. 

“Do you think you can stand up Harry?” he gently asked, and Harry nodded his head. With Severus holding onto him Harry got up off the floor and sat on the couch not letting go of Severus. 

“Why do you love me?” Harry finally asked out of the blue, the question was so blunt that it caught both Remus and Severus by surprise. 

“Why do you love me?” Severus asked hoping that Harry would answer before him so he could form his words right.

“Because you have never lied to me, you have always been honest, you never tried to coddle me and you tried to actually help me” he said breaking down as he remembered those hateful words that he said in the Great Hall.

“Shhhh I know that your thinking of what you said in the hall and don’t worry I understand and I forgive you. As for why I love you, that is simple” he said. “You’re you; you don’t like all the hero worship that goes on and you try and get by with your own wits and not anyone else’s. You try and help those in need even when they are your enemies. You love your friends and you always try to do what is right” he finished holding onto Harry as Harry cried some more over his words.

“I am so sorry Severus.” Harry said not even realizing that he said it but soon he didn’t care about that. “I love you” he said and looked up into his potions professor’s eyes. 

“And I love you Harry James Potter” and slowly Snape bent his head and kissed Harry gently on the lips. The soft gentle kiss brought smiles to their faces and both of their hearts returned to a normal beat. “Let’s go and see if we can help Remus out in the kitchen” he said getting up and pulling Harry up from the couch. 

They walked hand-in-hand into the kitchen. Remus finished laying the last of the breakfast on the table. 

Harry let go of Severus’s hand and walked up to Remus. Remus looked down at Harry and smiled at him, Harry smiled back and hugged Remus to him and started crying again. 

“I am so sorry Remus for how I talked to you. Please forgive me” he pleaded and held onto the werewolf who was like a father to him. Remus laid his cheek on Harry’s head. 

“There is nothing to forgive, you have been hurt and you have been worn out, but if you must hear it, I forgive you Harry. Just for now on come and talk to either myself, Dumbledore, McGonagall or Severus if you need something, even if it is just to talk” Remus said letting Harry go.

“I will I promise” he said smiling up at Remus; Harry turned back to Severus and watched as Severus pulled out a chair for Harry to sit in. 

Harry smiled and walked up to Severus and hugged him once more; Severus hugged Harry back.

“Come on lets eat before it gets cold” Severus said letting go of Harry. Harry looked up and smiled and kissed Severus on the cheek then sat down in the chair that he held out for him.

They sat in quietness for a while before Harry finally spoke up.

“So why are you here?” he asked them quietly.

“I told you Harry we are here to help you, we are here so that you know that you’re not alone” Severus started.

“Also Harry we are here to listen to you so we can try and understand what has happened with you” Remus said staring at Harry. Harry looked down then up and smiled.

“Thank you, but I…..” Harry trailed off and just looked down. Severus turned and made Harry look at him.

“What is it Harry, you can tell us anything” Severus said. 

Harry didn’t know what to say or how to say it, so he finally just blurted it out.

“Even though I love you Severus I have just had enough, I figured that I was just worthless now. I wanted to end it all, and I do mean end it all” Harry said getting up and walking over to a draw, there he pulled out a bottle and tossed it to Severus. 

When Severus saw it and showed it to Remus they both knew immediately what it was, when Severus turned to look at Harry, Harry threw him another bottle. Severus read it then handed it to Remus.

“Harry where did you get the sleeping drought and these pills and what are these pills?” Remus asked turning and looked at Harry. 

Harry didn’t respond he just went into the sitting room and sat in a chair facing the fire. He heard the other two come into the room and sit on the couch next to him.

“They’re sleeping pills, and I brewed the drought. I did learn something in potions.” Harry said smiling at Severus. Severus didn’t smile back.

“Harry why?” is all that Severus said. 

“I was tired Severus, I was tried of being picked on and I was tired of hearing everyone talk about their families and I don’t have one I want to talk about. I was tired of seeing people die, and I was just tired of being made fun of because my parents are dead. I was tired of everyone telling me how much I was needed yet leaving me in a place where I was hurt. I was tired of being beat, and abused emotionally, mentally and physically. 

I am just tired of it all, so I figured why keep trying. I got to drinking yesterday and I forgot about the pills and the potion. I woke up in bed and well you two know what happened from there” Harry said continuing to look at the fire. 

Severus and Remus both just sat there and looked at Harry for a while.

“Harry I cannot lie and tell you I know what you are going through, because I don’t know. But Harry your parents loved you so much that they died for you. I don’t think that they want you dieing so soon. I know that you miss them and I know that you miss Sirius but Harry you are not helping anyone by acting this way” Remus said. 

Harry just got pissed.

“Helping anyone?” he questioned. “Your right I’m not helping anyone but then again no one is fucking helping me. I am TIRED of it all Remus, I am sick and tired of everyone wanting me to save the world and yet no one is there wanting to save me just because they want to. OH NO they want to save me so that I can save everyone else, NO ONE WANTS TO SAVE ME” he hollered standing up and getting in Remus’s face. 

Before anyone could else move, Harry stormed out of the room and into the kitchen he soon appeared caring the sleeping drought, the sleeping pills, and a can of butterbeer. Before Harry could take anything Severus took the pills, and the drought and threw them into the fire. 

“HARRY JAMES POTTER NO MORE” Severus hollered at him and grabbing a hold of Harry’s shoulders. “Harry damn it we do care about you, and yes maybe this wasn’t said in the right way. Damn it Harry we are here for you” Severus said. 

Harry just stared at Severus before he said anything.

“But all you want me to do is to save everyone else and not have anyone to save me. I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t do this, I just can’t” Harry said sobbing and leaned against Severus.

“Oh Harry I am so sorry that I didn’t word that right. We are here to help you so you won’t be so depressed. We want you to know that no matter what, we are here for you, and no matter what happens; we are going to stay here for you. We know that you’re tired and worn out Harry, and you’re right we haven’t been thinking about what has happened to you in the past but I think that we can change that” Remus said coming up and rubbing Harry’s back while Severus hugged him. 

Harry stayed standing there crying on Severus’s shoulder with Remus rubbing his back. Slowly Harry calmed down and sat down on the love sit with Severus still holding him. 

“Harry we want you to tell us more about why you feel the way that you do, also why you felt that you had no other choice but to end it all” Severus said staring down at Harry. 

Harry just sat there for a moment and gathered his thoughts. He thought long and hard about how to say what he wanted to say.

“Well I guess to start I don’t know why I feel the way that I do, and I just felt that I couldn’t talk with anyone. I mean every time I try and bring up something about Sirius, or my parents, or about what Voldemort is doing, no body would listen and no one ever talked to me about it. I felt that none of you cared about me, and I felt that none of you really cared about me except when ever someone needed something. Then you would tell me stuff and want my help; and I couldn’t talk to Ron or Hermione because they just finally started going out, I didn’t think that they would want me to lay my problems on them. So I just couldn’t talk to anyone because there wasn’t anyone I could talk to, no one would talk to me” Harry said and took a deep breath.

“That is my fault, I am afraid Harry” said a voice that caused all of them to turn towards the door.

Tbc...


	2. Harry Potter Breaks Down 2

All characters are owned by JK. Rowling, this does not say anything about any of the characters or the actors who play the characters sexuality. This is a work of fiction. 

If you would like to e-mail me please do so at: SeaBreeze2Ga@yahoo.com  
All flames will be ignored and deleted immediately.

You can also visit my website for more stories: http://Pyrosplace.us

 

Harry Potter Breaks Down 2

 

“That is my fault I am afraid Harry” said a voice that caused all of them to turn towards the door. There standing there was Professor Dumbledore, Ron and Hermione. 

Ron and Hermione went up and hugged Harry when he stood and greeted them. 

“Are you ok?” asked Hermione looking at Harry. Harry just shrugged his shoulders then sat back down in Severus’s arms. 

“Why do you say that it is your fault Professor?” asked Harry.

Dumbledore sat down and stared at Harry for a moment before responding. 

“Harry I haven’t told you what has been going on because I didn’t want you to worry about it. I wanted you to grow up and be a child for a while longer, now I see that what I did was a mistake. I should have told you what was going on even if it was only a little bit.”

“I understand that Professor, but I worry about it all the time. If I would have only known what was going on maybe I wouldn’t worry as much. I know that you wanted to let me be a child a little while longer, but sir I worry so much I can’t stand it. I don’t have the luxury of being a child. None of you know what I have to go through everyday as I walk through the castle. I wonder if that is going to be my last day, or Ron’s, Hermione, Ginny, even you Severus. I just can’t handle it any more” Harry said the last silently crying and buried his face in Severus shoulder. 

Ron and Hermione both started crying and Ron had to hold Hermione, neither one of them could believe that Harry felt that way.

Dumbledore to had tears falling down his face he didn’t even know that Harry was in need of someone to talk with. He never knew that Harry had such emotional trauma that hurt him so deep that he would be suicidal. 

“Harry I heard what you said but can you answer the final question that Severus asked. Why did you feel that you had no choice but to try and hurt yourself?” he asked.

Harry looked at Professor Dumbledore and sighed.

“I didn’t feel that I had no other options, I couldn’t talk with anyone, everyone seemed to busy for me. So I figure I would just get out of everyone’s life and let them go on. I figured that no one would miss me” Harry said letting the tears fall from his eyes once more.

“Oh Harry, yes we would miss you. If we would have known what you were going through we would have made you sit down and tell us everything that was going on” Hermione said sobbing.

“Yes Harry, you’re my brother I would have done anything for you. I wish that I would have known” Ron said with tears in his eyes as well. 

Harry didn’t say anything he just held onto Severus and didn’t let him go. For nearly 10 minutes no one said anything just waiting to see what Harry would say.

“I don’t know what to say, I just don’t know what to feel anymore” he said letting Severus just hold him and make him feel better. 

“Harry I think that maybe you need to speak with someone, what do you think?” asked Dumbledore, Harry just looked at him.

“Who could we get to talk with me so that no one will find out? I mean if the world finds out then the people will feel that they aren’t safe anymore” Harry said looking at Dumbledore.

“I know someone who will come to the school; we can have it so that you can talk with her in the evenings after everyone else is in their dorms. Her name is Donna Blackmore. I will set it up so that she is the school’s counselor. So no one will think twice if you decide to go and talk with her. You can tell them that you are talking with her about your family problems and nothing more” Dumbledore said.

Harry smiled at him and thought about what he said. 

“I think that that may work sir, but what about my family? I don’t think that I can handle having to go back their” Harry said looking with desperation at Dumbledore. 

“I have been thinking of that and I think I have an idea, I would like to hear what you think about it though” Dumbledore said and started telling Harry about his idea to help Harry with that. 

After some thought and discussion Harry nodded his head in agreement and thanked him for his help. 

By the time that they finished talking it was lunch time. Remus, Ron and Hermione helped prepare lunch while Severus helped Harry straightening out the details and Dumbledore talked with them about what the summer would hold. 

After eating Ron, Hermione and Dumbledore all left. Harry would be returning Sunday night with Severus and Remus. They would stay at Harry’s for the week and then return to Hogwarts and start a fresh week. 

For that week Harry, Remus and Severus talked about everything that Harry has been going through and thinking. Harry and Severus took several long walks and talked about what would happen with their relationship. 

Harry told Severus that he knew that he would have to act mean towards him most of the time but now that he knew how Severus felt he would know that it was only an act. When he said that Severus laughed and Harry asked him what was so funny.

“Harry I love you my boy, but there are times that you truly do get on my nerves. When you don’t pay attention and when you don’t listen to what others are telling you; also when you try and act all heroic you drive me up the wall” Severus said still laughing. 

Harry just looked at Severus and couldn’t think of anything to say but finally settled on.

“Bite me Severus Snape” Harry said then started giggling and hugged the man to him. Severus laughed at that and held Harry as well. 

Over the week Harry told Remus and Severus about all the wards that he had surrounding his house and they were very impressed with what he had set up. He told them how to get through them and taught them the password for the house that only Ron, Hermione, Mr. Weasely and Mrs. Weasely had until then. He told them that he wanted them to teach them to Dumbledore and tell him the password, and they agreed to.

Sunday finally came around and Harry made sure that he had everything that he needed to go back to Hogwarts. After gathering all of their stuff Severus, Remus and Harry stepped out of Harry’s house. Harry set the wards and they turned and started walking to the Apparation point. 

After bending the wards to allow them to exit the area and resetting them they arrived at the apparation point. Harry gave Severus one last long kiss knowing that it will be a while before he can do that again. He took Severus’s hand and along with Remus they apparated back to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Harry, Severus and Remus apparated to Hogsmeade then walked the short walk to Hogwarts. Dumbledore was at the entrance waiting on them. 

“Hello Harry how are you feeling?” he asked him smiling down at him.

“I’m ok sir, I still have a long ways before I feel better, but I think with Severus’s and Remus’s help I will be ok” Harry replied. 

“Good and I believe so too, I have talked with Mrs. Blackmore this week and she has agreed to come and work here. She will be here in about an hour’s time; I think that I will have it set up so that you will be seeing her every Thursday evening. I have only told her that there will be one direct student that she will have to talk with. I told her I will tell her who it is after she arrives. She agreed, and said not to worry about anything and to tell the student that as a counselor it is her job to keep his or her secrets” he said staring at Harry. Harry nodded his head and didn’t respond.

“Why don’t you go and put your stuff up, dinner is shortly” Dumbledore said, Harry nodded his head and gave one last glance to Severus then headed inside and up to his dorm room.

Harry put his stuff up and headed back to the common room. No one was there yet so he sat and watched the fire for a bit. Ron and Hermione came in a short time later.

“Hey Harry we heard that you were back, how do you feel?” Hermione asked giving him a hug.

“Hey mate” Ron said getting a hug as well.

“I’m ok but it is going to take a long time before I am fine. I think it will be ok though” he replied smiling back at them.

“Good, well lets head to the great hall, it’s almost dinner” Hermione said and lead both boys out the portrait and to the stairs. They went down the stairs and followed some other students into the great hall. 

When they walked in everyone stopped talking and stared at Harry. He paid them no notice and kept walking to his table. Harry did notice that Lucius Malfoy was standing up at the head table talking to Professor Dumbledore. 

Lucius looked over when everyone got quiet and saw Harry Potter walking to his table. Lucius sneered then stormed over to Harry before anyone could stop him; he got up into Harry’s face and sneered down at him.

“I should kill you for what you did to my son” he started, but before he could respond Harry pushed him up against and bent backwards on the Gryffindor table and pointed his wand at his throat and stared down into the scared eyes of Lucius Malfoy. 

Several people from the Slytherin table stood up and pulled their wands out, and at the same time several Gryffindor students did the same, it looked like an all out war was about to start.

“ENOUGH” Dumbledore’s voice rang out over the Great Hall. “Put up your wands” he said and waited as everyone started putting up their wands; everyone that is except for Harry Potter. 

Harry continued to stare down at Lucius Malfoy and didn’t budge. 

“If you ever come near me again I will destroy you Lucius Malfoy; I will take everything that you have and destroy it; you and your family along with everything that you hold dear will be gone,” Harry said pushing his wand deeper in Lucius’s neck.

“Harry put up your wand” Dumbledore said. 

“No I will not, I am sick and tired of this man, his son and his precious little dark lord. I have had enough; if it is war he wants I will give it to him” Harry said sneering into Lucius’s face.

Severus came up and grabbed Harry’s wand arm and pulled him off of Lucius. He whispered something to Harry and Harry shook his head, then Severus said something else and Harry nodded looked hateful one last time at Lucius and then at Draco who paled from that one look and stormed out of the hall. 

“Are you alright Lucius?” he asked helping him stand again.

“I’m fine” he replied and stormed out of the Great Hall. Lucius left Hogwarts and headed back to Malfoy manner.

Severus looked up at the head table and Dumbledore nodded his head. With a swish of his robes he left the hall and headed to his office where Harry was supposed to meet him.

When Severus got to his office Harry was standing there waiting on him. Severus took off the wards and let Harry in. Severus followed him in and shut the door, before either could say anything Severus put a silencing charm and a locking spell on the door. 

“Harry what in the hell do you think that you were doing?” he asked Harry coming up to him; Harry just looked up into Severus’s eyes.

“I’m sorry Severus but I am not going to stand there and let someone threaten me. I refuse to do that ever again” Harry said still looking up into Severus’s eyes.

“What did he say?” he asked him.

“He said he should kill me for what I did to his son” Harry replied standing firm on his decision. Severus sighed and pulled Harry into a hug. 

“Harry I understand that, but you can’t go around pointing your wand at everyone” Severus said and Harry looked up at him.

“I want let anyone threaten me Severus. I won’t. I told you at the house I am tired of all of this, and this is one of the things I am tired of” Harry said getting upset and starting to cry. 

Severus reached out and pulled Harry into a hug and let Harry cry out his fears and frustrations on his shoulder.

“Harry I know that, but you have to understand Lucius can cause you a great deal of harm, you must be wary of him” Severus said still holding onto Harry.

“I will Severus I will” Harry said letting go of Severus and going to his bed. Harry took off his cloak and his shirt and slid into the bed. Severus took of Harry’s glasses and set them on the night stand. 

“I will be back later, I want you to rest” he said kissing Harry on the lips with a gentle kiss.

“Ok” Harry replied yawning and closing his eyes. 

The next thing Harry knew was the clock on the bedside table going off and a warm arm wrapped around him holding him in place. Harry didn’t want to get up but he knew he had to. 

Harry looked up and noticed Severus staring at him.

“Morning” Harry said smiling at Severus and giving him a small peck on the lips.

“Morning, it is time to go and get ready for school” Severus said and Harry nodded his head. 

Harry got up and got dressed giving Severus one last kiss then headed up to the Gryffindor tower. 

“Honor” Harry said and to the picture that stood in front of the entrance to Gryffindor tower the portrait opened to allow him in. Harry headed to his room and got a change of cloths and his toiletries and headed to the bathroom.

After a quick shower Harry put his dirty cloths away and headed back downstairs, but before he could leave he heard a question.

“Harry where were you last night?” Hermione asked him. Harry turned and smiled at her.

“Where do you think I was?” he asked her in turn. Hermione stared at him for a moment then nodded her head.

“Thought so, so are you ok today?” she asked him, and Harry just stood there and thought for a few moments.

“I guess I really don’t know Hermione, I really don’t. Like I told him last night I won’t be bullied anymore” he said. Hermione nodded her head and walked with Harry to the great hall. 

There were only a few students in there when he walked in and they all stopped talking when he entered. Harry was used to this so he ignored everyone and went straight to his place at the Gryffindor table.

A few minutes later Ron, Seamus, Neville and the rest of the Gryffindor’s came in. No one said anything to Harry except Ron. 

“You ok?” Ron asked and Harry nodded his head. “Good” he said and started filling his plate full of food. Harry watched him and snorted then started eating his own meal. 

Slowly the Great Hall filled up and everyone ate quietly afraid they were going to piss of Harry Potter and be hurt. Harry ignored them and just started talking to Ron and Hermione like it was no big deal and they in turn acted the same way. 

Slowly the noise level rose and everyone was talking like they always did. Soon it was the start of classes and Harry and Hermione went to potions while Ron headed to divinations. 

Harry, Hermione and several other Gryffindor’s all sat down and waited for class to start. Draco, Pansy and several other students arrived but none said anything to Harry. 

Shortly after everyone sat down the door swung open and Several Snap walked in. 

“Today students we will be brewing a healing potion. It is very sensitive and must be done correctly, any mistakes and I will not be happy and neither will you” Snap said then turned to Harry. “Is that clear Mr. Potter?” he asked scowling at Harry everyone gasped afraid that Harry was going to hex the professor. 

Harry almost wanted to laugh but knew better, so Harry just turned and glared at Snape.

“Yes sir” he said very calmly. Harry knew why Snape did that, he knew that one: it would let the other students know that Harry was alright and two: Snape really did hate it when Harry blew up a caldron. 

Unfortunately Harry did blow one up which caused Snape to take 20 points from Gryffindor and gave Harry detention that night with Snape himself. 

Harry scowled at the man but said nothing, Snape got them a new caldron and Harry and Hermione started again, this time with Hermione taking the lead. 

An hour later class was over and everyone left, the last person out the door was Harry who turned and smiled at the potions master, and he returned the smile back to Harry. 

Transfigurations and DADA went very well and no one bothered Harry and he was able to do his work in peace. 

Later that night Harry was in Snapes bedroom doing his homework which he started after having to actually serve the detention by cleaning out the closet with all of Snap’s potions in it in Snape’s office; Harry couldn’t believe that he actually had to serve detention. 

Snape just told him “I may love you Harry, but I am not going to let you go and get off of getting out of trouble when you do something stupid like blowing up a 200 gallon caldron.” Harry just scowled and started to clean while Snape just smiled.

Remus did show up about half way through.

“I head Harry had detention, but I didn’t think that you would make him go through with it” Remus commented while laughing. 

Harry turned and glared at Remus then started cleaning some more. They heard Harry mumble and say something about a “greasy haired git.” But both men just chuckled at that. Soon Harry was finished and Snape released him from his detention, Harry just stuck his tongue out and started washing up while Snape laughed.

Soon Harry and Severus were kissing in Snapes bedroom, Severus reminded Harry of his homework a few moments later and that is why Harry was lying on Severus’s bed working on his homework. Harry was just about through when Dumbledore came into the room.

“Everything alright in here?” he asked and both Snape and Harry nodded his head.

“Yes sir, I am just about finished with the last of this potions work that someone thought would be interesting. It wasn’t and I have to write a 5 inch essay on some ingredient I never heard of before and that is AFTER the detention he gave me” Harry said staring at Snap. 

Snape had a wicked smile on his face and Harry just shook his head. 

“I’m heading to bed, see you tomorrow Professor Dumbledore. See you tomorrow Severus” Harry said then gave Severus a quick kiss before walking out and heading to Gryffindor Tower.

Just as Dumbledore promised Harry saw Mrs. Blackmore every Thursday night. She was surprised to find out that Harry Potter was the reason that she was needed and was more surprised to find out why. But with her help and the help of Severus and Harry’s friends, Harry was on his way to recovering.

Time flew by and soon it was Christmas; Harry had gotten Severus a white gold choker with a black onyx stone. Severus had gotten Harry a ring with a styled P in the middle representing the Potters. 

They spent a quiet Christmas together eating in Severus’s room and not coming out till the next morning. No they did not have sex they just enjoyed each others company. They had decided to wait on that till after Harry graduated from Hogwarts before their relationship becomes sexual. 

Soon it was the 1st of February, and school was back in session for about 20 days or so and everything was running smoothly. 

But at dinner that night an attack took place and Voldemort attacked Hogwarts, he decided to do it on a day they were not expecting, and soon a full out battle was going on. 

Harry got separated from Severus and the rest of his friends and soon found himself standing face to face with Voldemort himself. 

“So young Harry, are you prepared to die?” Voldemort asked laughing at Harry. 

Harry was not amused and decided that he had enough rage in him to stop Voldemort once and for all. 

“You know what Tom, I am sick and tired of this; you want me then come and get me” was all that Harry said and soon they were in a wizard’s dull. 

The death eaters didn’t hear or see the professors coming up behind them and attack them. Soon all the death eaters were either bond, knocked out or dead. 

Voldemort and Harry fought none stop for nearly an hour when finally with a curse that Harry didn’t know that he knew and didn’t know where it came from he was able to capture Voldemort. 

Voldemort was bound and couldn’t get out, and Harry stood over him with his wand pointing at him.

“I figured out what you did Tom and how you kept coming back, and you know what? I found out how to stop that from happening” Harry said.

Harry said a long string of words and pointed his wand at Voldemort and soon Voldemort was surrounded by a blue haze and when the haze was gone Voldemort could tell he was no longer connected to the earthly plain.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooo……………..” Voldemort hollered but was cut off when Harry said another curse that ended Voldemort’s life once and for all. 

As Voldemort died Harry felt a part of himself dieing as well and he screamed from the pain he was feeling at Voldemort death. 

Harry fell to the floor and screamed louder as the pain grew, his body moved and thrashed about but no one tried to stop it. Soon Harry stopped moving and everyone watched, waiting but Harry didn’t wake up. 

Severus bent down and put Harry’s head in his lap and held him, he wiped the sweat from Harry’s face and bent and gave Harry a gentle kiss on his forehead, Ron and Hermione showed up about then wands out and looking around. They saw Severus holding Harry and saw the still form of Voldemort next to Harry’s unmoving body. They both thought the worse and started to cry silent tears for their friend.

“Harry? Harry can you hear me?” Severus asked with concern in his voice and fear in his eyes.

Harry opened his eyes a little and stared into Severus’s black eyes. 

“It’s over” Harry crocked out. “He’s dead, and I’m free” he said and closed his eyes with a small smile on his lips. Everybody sighed a sigh of relieve in knowing that Harry was alright and that Voldemort was dead.

Over the next month Harry slowly recovered from his injuries. They figured that since he was connected to Voldemort, that when Voldemort died he felt it and the part of him that was connected to the Dark Lord died as well. 

Harry soon recovered and was back to being with his friends and being a normal teen. Or as normal a teen as one can be after killing the Dark Lord, having a boyfriend for a teacher and being a bigger celebrity than he was before. 

Once the news of Voldemort’s defeat was announced and that the-boy-who-lived stopped him there was a great celebration in the wizarding world. Harry started getting letter after letter of people writing to him and thanking him for protecting them. He didn’t know any of them but they all knew that he saved them by stopping and killing a mad man. 

The letters and floo calls that came in with people wanting to talk with Harry got so bad that the school had to hire Harry a personal secretary to handle it all. Harry just shook his head and said he didn’t want to deal with it. 

So the school dealt with it for him and let him have the last few months of his childhood, or what was left of his child hood. No one knew what was really going on in Harry’s head except the few people that were the closest to him and Mrs. Blackmore. 

Even though Harry was fine he still had nightmares about everything that happened and each night Severus was there to help and protect him. Eventually Harry recovered from his ordeal and was fully whole.

After graduation Harry and Severus Snape got married, Ron was Harry’s best man and Remus was Severus’s. Harry became the DADA for 1st-4th years and Remus stayed on as the DADA teacher for 5th-7th year. 

They lived together at Hogwarts during the school year and at Harry’s house during the summer, after deciding that they didn’t need two houses and Severus wanted to get rid of his house anyways and decided to sell it. 

When ever the kids had a problem with the potions master they went to Harry and tried to have him talk him into being nicer but all Harry told them was:

“That is who he is, so you’re going to have to deal with it, if I could then I know you can.” After that they left him alone about trying to change his husband.

Eventually Severus because Headmaster after Headmistress McGonagall passed on, which she took after Headmaster Dumbledore had passed on well. Harry was the deputy Headmaster and when they were at school their own children treated them as teachers and not parents. 

Well not always but sometimes they did run to them for problems and they tried to help anyway that they could, but when it came to their classes they treated them like any other pupil.

Harry and Severus Snape lived until the end of their lives; happy and free to love as they choose and that love was with each other.

The End


End file.
